Palace in Underland

As a parent of a child with an Individualized Education Program (IEP) or a 504 Plan, you are likely used to working closely with your child’s school team. But there is one common scenario that catches many well-meaning parents off guard: receiving a phone call from the school asking you to come pick up your child early because they are having a “rough day.”

While it sounds like a supportive request to let your child decompress at home, these undocumented removals—often called “shadow suspensions” or “informal removals”—can accidentally delay the very help your child needs.

Here is why that informal phone call actually triggers a legal requirement for support, what your rights are, and how you can formally kickstart the process.

The Power of the 10-Day Rule ⏱️

Under federal law (the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, or IDEA), students with disabilities have strong disciplinary protections. One of the most important is the 10-day rule.

• The Threshold: A student with an IEP can only be suspended for up to 10 cumulative school days in a single school year.
• The Legal Trigger: Once a student hits that 10-day mark, it counts as a significant “change of placement.” This legally forces the school to pause and trigger your Manifestation Determination Review (MDR) rights.

Understanding Your MDR Rights ⚖️

An MDR is a mandatory meeting held within 10 school days of any decision to change a student’s placement because of a violation of a code of student conduct. As a parent, you have distinct rights during this meeting:

• The Right to Participate: You are an essential member of the MDR team. The school cannot hold this meeting behind closed doors without giving you the opportunity to attend.
• The Right to an Objective Review: The team must look at all relevant information in the student’s file, including the IEP, teacher observations, and any information provided by you.
• The Right to Two Critical Answers: The team must answer two specific questions:
  1. Was the conduct caused by, or did it have a direct and substantial relationship to, the child’s disability?
  2. Was the conduct the direct result of the school’s failure to implement the IEP?
• The Right to Return to Placement: If the answer to either question is yes, the behavior is a manifestation of the disability. This means your child must be returned to their placement (unless special circumstances apply, like weapons or drugs) and the school must conduct a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA).

The Danger of the Informal “Pick-Up”

When a school asks you to pick up your child early without issuing official suspension paperwork, the clock stops ticking.

If your child is sent home early 5 or 10 times a year via a friendly phone call, those days are often marked as “excused absences” or “parent pickups.” Because they aren’t labeled as suspensions, the school’s system never triggers the mandatory MDR or FBA. Your child misses out on legal protections, and the IEP team isn’t forced to meet to fix the underlying issue.

Take Control: How to Formally Request an FBA 📝

You do not have to wait for the school to hit the 10-day suspension mark to get help. If you notice a pattern of behavioral challenges or informal pick-up requests, you have the right to formally request an FBA at any time.

An FBA is a scientific evaluation that looks at why a behavior is happening so the school can build a supportive Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP).

To ensure your request meets standard educational and legal timelines, put it in writing. You can copy, paste, and customize the formal request template below:

Subject: Formal Request for a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) – [Child’s Full Name]

Dear [Principal Name] and [IEP Team Coordinator/Case Manager Name],

I am writing to formally request a Comprehensive Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) for my child, [Child’s Full Name], born on [Child’s Date of Birth], who is currently enrolled in the [Current Grade] grade at [School Name].

Recently, there has been an increase in behavioral challenges that are impacting [Child’s Name]’s ability to access their education. Specifically, [he/she/they] [briefly mention the behaviors, e.g., has experienced emotional dysregulation, has been removed from class, or has been sent home early on multiple occasions].

I am requesting this FBA so that we can identify the triggers and functions of these behaviors, which will allow the IEP team to develop or revise an effective, data-driven Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP).

Please send me the necessary Prior Written Notice (PWN) and Consent for Evaluation forms as soon as possible so that the legal timelines for this assessment can begin. I look forward to collaborating with the team to better support [Child’s Name].

Sincerely,

[Your Name]
[Your Phone Number]
[Your Email Address]

What to Do During the Next Phone Call 📋

The next time the school calls and asks you to take your child home due to behavior, handle the situation gracefully but firmly:

1. Ask the Direct Question: When the school calls, ask: “Is this an official suspension?”
2. Request Paperwork: If they say yes, request the official suspension letter specifying the reason and the duration.
3. Document the Call: If they say, “No, we just think it’s best they go home,” you can still cooperate for your child’s well-being, but follow up immediately with an email stating: “As requested by [Staff Member Name] at [Time], I picked up [Child’s Name] due to behavioral difficulties. Please ensure this is logged as a partial-day suspension so our documentation matches our meeting standards.”

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work 🤝

Insisting on proper documentation and formal requests isn’t about being adversarial—it’s about advocacy. When schools and parents track data accurately, it ensures the school gets the resources it needs, the IEP team meets the required legal standards, and your child gets the structural behavior support they deserve to thrive.